In the Making

So this is the end of a really, very long two weeks. I can not tell you how tough it has been to get up in the mornings and drag myself to school. Last week I made it a habit to fall asleep on the couch at 7:30 every evening, only waking when Chris came and helped me hobble into bed to finish sleeping. I love my job and love art, but kids are SO draining. All day long, every day, and hundreds of them.... It is times like these I am glad I don't have any of my own.

One thing that I have been struggling with lately is who I am as a teacher. I don't know if I am a "cool" teacher or a "mean" teacher or one that simply gets over looked. (In reality I probably fall somewhere in between.) I stress personal character and integrity in my classroom quite a bit, and unfortunately those are not necessarily cool characteristics and are something that I feel is disappearing daily in our society. As I try to model these attributes, I realize just how desensitized our kids are becoming. Words that kids use in everyday language are words like "sexy." I remember the first time I heard someone call something sexy. I was appalled! All I could do was look at them and tell them, "We don't use 'sexy' in this class." Turns out other teachers are who they go it from. It breaks my heart to see these types of things happening and know it is just getting worse.

So I have taken to planting subliminal messages in the music during class. Once in a while the entry song is none other than the Beatles "Give Peace a Chance." It is about 6 minutes long and just chants one of my favorite phrases over and over. The kids don't even notice it, which makes me wonder a little bit if it is working it's way into their young little brains.

I have recently found a new song that has struck a chord within my heart. I wont play it for my students because of the religious references, but every time I listen to it, it makes my heart swell. It makes me want to paint the most beautiful picture on earth and then give it to God. It reminds me of why I put up with 200 crazy attention seeking children every day. It reminds me what kind of person I strive to be and hope to become. It reminds me of the kind of change I want to see in the world.

Today one of my friends found out that a close friend of hers died in a car accident last night in Michigan. I didn't know how to comfort her. I had no idea what to say. I still don't. When I heard this song tonight I thought of her and new that God would do the healing and that I would just be there to listen.

This was a really long explanation for why I like a song, but I would not share it if it wasn't special to me. Click on the title of the post and give it a listen. It is beautiful, (I just hope it is not to artsy for your taste.)